Are Runners the Most Annoying People in London This January
A light-hearted look at the influx of joggers in London during January
London, UK, Joggers, Running, January, Health
London: Is there anything more irritating than seeing joggers everywhere in January? It’s cold and dark, and we’re all still carrying that holiday weight. Yet, there they are, decked out in bright gear, acting like they’re scaling mountains instead of just running down the street. It’s not just annoying; it’s downright confrontational.
Are they trying to make us feel guilty? Honestly, it sure seems that way. No matter how much they talk about health and goals, it feels like the real reason for running is just to show off.
And in 2025, it’s even worse. It’s like everyone had a secret meeting on New Year’s Eve and decided to up the ante on the smugness.
Stoke Newington seems to be the epicenter of this phenomenon. Joggers are everywhere, sprinting through Clissold Park, flaunting their fancy gear, and bragging about their latest race times. It’s like they’re carrying energy gels just to walk to the shops.
I live in Stoke Newington, so I can’t escape these enthusiastic runners. They zoom past me as I shuffle to the bus, and I feel like I’m in a comedy sketch when we’re waiting at the traffic lights together. I might love my quirky style, but I’m not the one looking ridiculous here.
London is known as the running capital of the UK, and it’s no surprise. There are 76 parkruns within the M25 as of June 2023. Stoke Newington might just be the jogging capital of London, too, with all the trendy running gear being flaunted around.
Run clubs are popping up everywhere, and they’re like a dating service for people I wouldn’t want to date. It’s a clever way to keep them all together.
I can’t help but wonder if it’s just as bad where you live. Last year, while trying to cheer on friends at the Hackney Half, I got kicked off two buses and had to walk for ages. It was infuriating. I don’t mind if they want to run; I just don’t want to be forced to watch it.
Maybe it’s an age thing, too. A report showed that 28% of people aged 25-34 ran at least once a month in 2024, up from 22% in the younger group. As a 27-year-old, it feels like more of my friends are suddenly into running. Twenty-two out of 100 friends running is annoying, but 28 feels like a plague.
And it’s only going to get worse. By the time I’m 35, it could be 30 out of 100. They’re dropping like flies!
I get that running has its perks. It’s good for your health, gets you out of the house, and lets my boyfriend enjoy more pints without getting too round. Plus, it’s a great way to raise money for charity. The London Marathon has raised over £1.3 billion since it started in 1981. I can’t argue with that.
But seriously, at what cost? They become so insufferable! At least with Dry January, there’s an end in sight. When someone gets into running, they’re gone for months or even years.
It’s like they’re just doing a fast walk, not competing in some extreme challenge.
There’s got to be a better way to raise money. Why not try something quirky, like growing long nails or stuffing grapes in your mouth? Or let’s mix it up like the Olympics. Why isn’t anyone taking up archery or diving? I’d happily walk to see that.
Why do we all have to follow the same path? Hit 30, start running, have kids, and get into coffee grinding. So boring! The one friend I admire is the ultimate frisbee player. She plays every Sunday, and I’m planning to watch her next week.
I love my jogger friends, but their smugness is wearing me down. It’s like they think they’re training for a reality show. You’re just doing a fast walk, not competing in some crazy challenge.
It’s time to treat joggers like a kid with a new toy. Sure, you can dream big, but I’m busy talking about grown-up stuff, like who’s dating who. Want to buy a fancy running vest? Go for it, but it’ll probably end up collecting dust. Enjoy your energy gels; I’ll be at the ultimate frisbee game, waiting for this phase to pass. Come back when you’re ready for pints again.
Maddy Mussen is a features and culture writer